woodchucktroll woodchucktroll wrote in memebells
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458: commercialism makes for confrontations
Gotta love crowded shopping centers right?

The Black Friday Shopping Meme

Black Friday is the Friday that follows Thanksgiving in the United States, and is associated with significant sales, the official start of winter holiday gift-shopping, and intense crowds. I hope your characters are up to it.


To start with:

Leave a comment for people to respond to! It's helpful to have your character's name and canon, if applicable, in the title of your comment.

There are 16 listed prompts; people responding can go to the RNG, pick a prompt they like, or create another prompt altogether!

See where the interactions take you, and enjoy. :)


Out In The Line
Some people start camping out the night before or sooner!, while others only show up in the early morning hours. For whatever reason, you're here and anticipating your chance to shop.

1. The person in line next to you is being especially annoying somehow. Perhaps they're always loudly on a phone, or sniffling and sneezing all over your things.

2. Some jerk is attempting to cut the line, and get ahead of you! What do you do?

3. Your friend doesn't want to be here, but somehow you convinced them to join you. Did you appeal to their friendship, or convince them not to leave you alone in a line of strangers for hours? Perhaps you have some means of coercion, through blackmail or threats? How are they responding now that they're experiencing the wait in the cold?

4. You didn't mean to be shopping on Black Friday at all! Unfortunately, you ran out of something you consider important to come out and wait in line to get. Do you try to convince the people around you to let you ahead, or simply complain about the situation?

5. The doors are opening and people are determined to get in quickly! Do you shove people aside, ramming your way to the doors, and shoving the other poster in the process? Are you instead pushed out of the line?

6. The doors just opened, but you've been pulled aside by the security guard while the line enters behind you. Why are they keeping you from entering the store?

In The Store At Last, Customers Interact
Yep, you've gotten in and are dealing with crowds, popular items running out quickly, and lines! At least things are on sale.

7. You only just got in the store, and in the mad rush you lost whoever you came in with! How are you going to find them in the hectic store?

8. After separating to find items in the opposite ends of the store, you're meeting up again somewhere in the middle. Only you've both picked up extra things, and now you've got more than you can afford. Something has to be put back... but what?

9. There's only one more of it on the shelf, and you reach out to grab it---at the same time as another shopper. How do you decide who gets to have it?

10. You're just turning back to your cart to see someone else at it, their arm in it and holding something of yours. What are they trying to take, and how do you respond?

11. The lines at the registers are already ridiculous, and you want to get out! Do you hunt for the ideal register in some unknown corner of the store, or wait out the line? And how many splurge items do you pick up along the way?

The Misfortunes Of Employees
Congratulations, one or both of you have the misfortune of working retail on Black Friday, and there's a never-ending line of questions, requests and complaints!

12. The store only just opened, but something you're looking for is gone! There are none of it on the shelves, but surely there must be more in stock. You know it, and you're going to convince this employee to bring one out for you. Maybe there really isn't anything left, or maybe they've been told to keep it in the back until a little later in the day, but the answer is no.

13. There's been a spill in aisle 8, and you need to clear customers out of it for a few minutes to clean it up. Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to leave before they've found what they're shopping for.

14. You're working register, trying to get customers through in as fast and friendly a manner as you can. Unfortunately, your current customer has a lot of coupons they're trying to use. Some of them are outdated, some are for different stores, and trying to sort through them all is causing a line to form. How do you hurry the process along?

Returning Home With The Haul
Congratulations, you've escaped the shopping process and are now looking through the things you've bought. All done for now, right?

15. You've just gotten home, tuckered out from the stress of the shopping center, and are putting things away... when you notice that specific, important item you were supposed to get isn't here. Is it listed on the receipt and just missing, or did you forget to buy it in the first place? How long until they notice it's not here? Do you have to go back out to replace it?

16. You and someone important to you are comparing hauls, and you reveal a gift for the other! Was it meant as a later holiday present?

Cloud Strife :: Final Fantasy VII


3. Because.

[Because Orson really wants that $199 40" 1080p flat-screen and he's not about to let some smelly D&D hipster douchebag beat him to it.

Cloud's just there to convince the Rent-a-Cops that Orson's not there to rob the place.]

You. Rock.

[he's here because that's what real men do.

Shop.

For Manly things. Like a huge ass TV that they can use it for all kinds of manly stuff. Like watching sports. And more sports.

And maybe even more sports if they can figure out how to hijack the neighbor's cable package.

...

...and possibly an action movie from time to time. With lots of manly explosions and car chases.

So they're going to get Orsen that TV, by thunder, if they have to trip little old ladies to do it. Because that's the way Real Men shop!]


Here's your coffee.

[hey. Real Men need something to drink while they wait in manly anticipation for the doors to open]

[Sports. Late-night Cinemax. And Clint Eastwood movies.

The ones before he made Bridges of Madison County, of course. That one isn't very manly.

Maybe a Michael Bay movie from time-to-time, but not very often because too much of that dumb high-octane stuff not only indicates a sort of envy that Freud will have a field day with, it will also dull your mind. And neither scenario's very manly.

Anyway, Orson's dead-set on getting that TV. He's dead-lifted and pressed three hundred pounds for an hour in preparation for this. Because that's what Real Men do.]


Thank you.

[And it's black, too. Strong. No sugar, no cream. Probably cost less than two dollars, so you know it wasn't purchased from sissy-ol' Starbucks. It's very manly.

Cloud knows what's up.]


...should be open, any minute now.

[That TV is his.]

[no. No Starbucks. Cloud is as oblivious to coffee houses as a Real Man can be without accidentally walking into their walls on the way past. This is Manly coffee from the Manly Man's gas station that's within walking distance of their soon to be Heroic Quest For The Flatscreen.

Seriously though, it's like, right there, less than a block down. Cloud's not actually going to drive somewhere just to get coffee.

He'd lose his parking spot.

But it IS Manly coffee without any of the froo-froo stuff like sugar or cream. Mostly because Cloud's so Manly that he forgot to think Orson might want any of that stuff until he was halfway back.]


Hn.

[Cloud and Orson are so manly that's all they need to do to communicate. Besides, Cloud's a little distracted by the way that little old lady seems to be putting a brick into her purse in preparation of something as the doors of the store rattle from the inside.]

...

[Granny better watch it. Hyuri doesn't discriminate and for that TV, neither will Orson. He'll clothesline her and break her hip if he has to. Orson's gonna keep an eye on her in the meantime.]

...are you buying anything?

[Hey, if Cloud wants a TV of his own, Orson's more than willing to help him snag one, even if it means suplexing an unsuspecting customer to get it. Because that's what men do.]

No.

[it's a grunt as Cloud swallows down some more of the coffee even though it's probably too hot. It's the Manly thing to do and besides, he spent almost two gil on the thing and he isn't about to get it spilled down him when this crowd surges. Which it seems like it's getting ready to. Unlike Orson's Manly mini-game/quest through the labyrinthine world of Sales Flyers, Cloud took a different Manly approach and remained blissfully oblivious to the fact today was any different than any other day.

He'd be lying if he didn't admit he was kind of curious to see how things went though. In an entirely testosterone enhanced kind of way, of course. His enhanced hearing thinks it picks up the sound of terrified 'no, you' on the other sides of the locked doors.]


Got a plan?

Yes.

[Orson chugs his coffee; it's hot and almost flavorless, but his expression doesn't change. He's as passive as ever. Genghis Khan never flinched, why should he?]

Get what I want. Then leave.

[Simple enough. Short, sweet, and straight to the point. Orson avoids superfluous details and doubt.

The employees about to open the door look terrified. When they see Orson, it's only natural.]

[it seems like a straight-forward enough plan. A plan befitting a Manly Man about to do Manly Things. Cloud can get behind that.

Even if a small part of him is aware of the calculating looking in the eyes of the people around him and the almost devious glint in the eyes of several of the women around them. He's... a little bit nervous when women start to look devious. It usually means Bad Things. For him.

He's NOT wearing a dress this time. (even if he was very Manly while doing it last time)

He downs the last of the coffee - go Manly Caffeine Power Surge! - and tosses it unerringly in the trash bin nearby (he is an eco-terrorist, after all - Real Men don't litter.

And then the doors open simultaneously with a booming sound and the End of the World begins.]

[Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries seems to play the instant the doors open and Orson, cracking his knuckles, takes the first, epic step forward. It's so epic, it influences the others to take timid steps forth as well but his size and aura are so imposing, they're afraid to pass him. Even the granny with the brick in her purse.

Stampede? What stampede? It's a military advance and Orson's the commander. Cloud's got nothing to fear. He won't have to crossdress this time. He just has to make sure there's no backstabbers.]

sorry for the late

[there's so much manly testosterone in the air you can almost smell the burning of it. Or maybe that's the rubber from the bottoms of the sales clerks shoes that have fled in the face of this oncoming wave of determined manly shopping. Either way, the air is thick with intent. The intent of ravenous hyenas about to strip the carcass of an entire store clean in twelve seconds or less.

There is no backstabbing on Cloud's watch.

But the orderly march does break into chaos once the waffle makers on sale for 2$ come into view.]

No worries.

[Trufax: manly testosterone smells like faint sweat and sandalwood.

Orson could give two craps about a waffle maker. He prefers big, uneven mountains of flap jacks made from scratch and cooked on a big-ass cast iron skillet. But enough about that. Why? Because that damn TV was his, and damn it, he was willing to let Hyuri take over and just go off on anyone that threatened to get in his way. One hipster got an elbow to the face for just trying to walk faster than him.

Knowing Cloud was watching his back in a manly way, Orson hurriedly made his way to his prize: that gigantic TV he wanted. And, hey, why not get one for that bar?]


Cloud.

[Heads up -- gigantic TV in a box flying your way.]

[Cloud's kind of fond of waffles - in a purely manly way that involves a hell of a lot of butter and syrup. They're not here on a hunt for manly waffle makers (which wouldn't be on sale for a measly two dollars either) though. They're here on the quest for Orson's big screen and if Cloud has to trip that middle aged man with fire in his eyes on the way there than so be it. You don't try to stop heroes when they're on a quest.

His head snaps up at Orson's low voice and somewhere out of the swarm in electronics where the digital camera section has rapidly devolved into a waving pile of arms, legs and pepper spray, Cloud watches the brilliant arch of a giant flat box of cardboard and printed ink pictures rush his way. He tamps down on his first manly (and in no way one too many fights for survival) reaction to cut it in half with a sword and catches it instead with a well timed leap off of a tipped shopping cart's edge. Landing solidly on the soles of his thick boots, he staves off the well timed swing from a purse with its edge and then calmly heads back to where Orson is.]


Thanks. You getting anything else?

Blu-Ray.

[The players were on sale for fifty bucks a pop. Practically a steal. It'd be criminal to not buy at least two. Besides, every big screen TV needed a player of some sort to go with it. The players were also being held on a shelf too high for anyone's reach.

Apparently, the store staff gave up with trying to set out the sale items to the general public after one of them fell victim to the relentless stampede. The store was a veritable colosseum and Orson was its star gladiator (not to be confused with the series -- it was okay, just not manly enough for him but that's another rant for another day). He was going to get a Blu-Ray player, come hell or high water.

He leapt up onto the shelf and latched on. Other shoppers caught on and tried to climb up there and Orson, not wanting to leave his perch until he claimed his prize, fended a soccer mom and some scruffy tow-truck driver off with well-timed boots.]


Want one?

[Balancing the TV on one shoulder to leave one arm free to plant a hand firmly against a eyeliner wearing teen's forehead and hold him at bay, Cloud raises his head to watch his teammate. He's got to, in a manly kind of way, admire Orson's determination. This place is definitely not for the faint of heart.]

Sure.

[Orson's up there anyway and there seem to be plenty of players since the human pyramid shoppers are building of their fallen enemies to get to it hasn't reached Orson's level yet. Cloud's heard there's be a rerelease of a really Manly and Awesome movie called Advent Children Complete that's only available on blu-ray and surely being able to view something that testosterone and action driven has to be worth popping an extra 50 bucks for. He's heard the movie makes gravity weep and beg for its mommy.]

Get me two.

[a well timed sidestep and release sends the angsty kid into the father/daughter team that were just about to side-swipe Orson's legs with a shopping cart and the whole pile derails. Hey, Cloud's got his friend's back.]

Laughing. So. Hard...

[Two Blu-Ray players, coming up. Just in time, too, because as soon as he tossed them casually towards Cloud, another soccer mom tried her hand at pulling Orson's leg. She succeeded.

In pissing him off.

But he managed to keep everything under control once he nabbed a player for himself then used the bodies of those foolish enough to try to topple him as steps on his way back down to common ground with Cloud. Gigantic box of TV on one shoulder and Blu-Ray player tucked under one arm, he was cool as a cucumber. Or Steve McQueen. He was awfully manly. God rest his masculine soul.]


...will that be all for today?

ty, ty ;) we try

[there's a moment of manly mental silence in honor of Steve McQueen. They would not see his like again. Then Cloud nods at Orson's entirely reasonable question as the teeth gnashing starts near the blu-ray players that are left. Orson did indeed instigate a noble quest and Cloud's pretty glad he came along. He's going to have to remember this for next year. But right now he's got the entirely manly urge to go home and play with his new toys be rough and masculine and not read the instruction manual as he puts together his new Items.]

Yeah.

Let's go home.

[They came, they saw, they conquered, they left with large-screen TV's and Blu-Ray players. And kept their dignities in tact. All that was left was for Orson to head to his pad and plug-and-play Unforgiven.

All in all, it was a successful and manly quest and they left with quite the haul.

And people called them crazy for getting up so early to buy things.

Cowards.]




[OOC; it's cool to end here, if you want.]

ooc. I laughed all the way through this. Again. Manly bro-fist! Yes, that seems like a perfect wrap up to their noble quest. Until the next time~!

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